Happiness is a Truck

October 2010 Conference

Dear Brother Packer

I am impressed to respond to your address in the Sunday morning session of the October 2010 Conference. Because we can’t speak directly - this is my forum.

Bro. Packer, you referred to my sexuality as "impure and unnatural" and went further to say that it is not “inborn” after all "Why would our heavenly father do that to anyone? …”

Your question on its face is flawed. Because I fall outside “the plan” you have wrongly accepted that my sexuality is a sin, a burden and something that requires either healing or repentance. I want to convey to you that it is not. In fact, your feelings are miles away from my sure knowledge that I am in good standing with the Lord. I want you to know that I have been assured, through the spirit, time and time again that there is nothing immoral or shameful about me.

To paraphrase, the brethrens’ position as I understand it … the Church doesn't ask homosexuals to do anything it doesn't also ask of its other single adult members - to live celibate lives.

This simply isn't true.

The Church shows constant love and support to our single brothers and sisters: giving single members church callings; urging them to date, to flirt, to get crushes, to fall in love, to marry even sponsoring wards and activities to get them together to accomplish this. We ask them to be celibate - until they find someone to share their life and intimacy with. We go out of our way to give them something of immeasurable value in the struggle to keep the law of chastity - hope - hope that no matter how difficult this emotional and physical loneliness is, it is temporary, that when married (if not on earth then beyond) all will be available to them.

I have been asked not just to be celibate but to be celibate forever, to live a life alone eternally.

The question of sexual intimacy aside - can you imagine being denied the ability to become attracted to, flirt with, get a crush on, hold hands with, or fall in love with your sweet wife? With all trace of romantic love and emotional intimacy denied you what emptiness do you envision? I can’t for the life of me understand the brethrens’ position. It is a position that leads Heavenly Father’s children into despair. I have been reminded all my life that we should not blame the Lord for the human mistakes of the members or leadership. Because the spirit speaks to me I am compelled to apply that principle to you on this topic.

So, without a supportive path for me within the church I have drawn a distinction between celibate and being chaste.

I value and have always sought a chaste life. Although, the blessings of marriage are currently denied to me, I live in a committed, monogamous relationship and practice the Gospel virtues of love, commitment, and fidelity that my loving parents taught me at home. I will continue to do so proudly.

Sincerely,

Jennifer McKinley

Ps

Next time you may want to consider saving the joke writer for a less important topic. Playing to the crowd for laughs may keep them engaged but I found you callous.

http://new.lds.org/general-conference/watch/2010/10?lang=eng&vid=624220753001&cid=5

http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject

• Create your own travel map or travel blog

Thanks!

I got good news at work on Friday - it will be a couple of months until it becomes concrete...but we were awarded a construction job that could be the jumping off point for the new company.

If this doesn't work out it won't be from lack of efforts or faith so I am laying down my worrying and just looking ahead and knowing I will find a way.

It has been a tumultuous 18 months - thank you all for your prayers and support that helped keep me going.

Let's switch all the energy over to helping Karen and Dan!!!!

Obama healthcare

Well I did something a week ago to give my back a little twinge, no big deal... 2 days later after sitting at my desk non-stop (driven by my work load and fear of being laid-off if I don't show up for work) my middle back was in full spasm. I stayed flat and did the ice / heat routine but by 1am I knew I needed to go somewhere. Jenn was on patient watch and we started calling to find where to go to urgent care. My insurer sent me to a place that no longer accepted my insurance. My doctor's after hours recording sent me to a place an hour away that was not even open after 8pm. Finally at 3:30 I had a place to go - only a $50 dollar co-pay just to walk in the door. 5 days of bed rest muscle relaxants and morphin (yep, the pain is that bad, not to mention the pain of the perscription co-pay costs) but I can finally shower without a baby sitter. I have no more sick days and only 2 days more of meds before I get the pleasure of paying another $50 dollar cover charge to have someone tell me to "stay in bed". As if not showing up for work on Monday is an option.
I left my house tuesday night in my pajamas (thanks to Jenn taking such good care of me I have clean pj's) but in pajamas I stay. I am seeing a lot of improvement but I have no idea how I will actually get back to work, I can walk but not sit. I don't know what the answer is to the healthcare problem - but I it is clear to me that people abuse pain killers in part because they are forced back to work too soon.
Pass a health care bill - we can always keep working on it - but something has to change.

Photo by Elder Jack Eichelberger

Leaders of the five districts and other leaders of the India Bangalore Mission meet after three new districts were created from the two existing in the southern part of the nation.

Happy Birthday Mom - I Love You.

draft of our new website

The battle continues

As I expected...The California Supreme Court has upheld a voter-approved ban on same-sex marriage, BUT it also decided that the estimated 18,000 gay couples who tied the knot before the law took effect will stay married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Disappointing, but both sound constitutional decisions. On to the next step: CALIFORNIA CONSTITUTION ARTICLE 18 AMENDING AND REVISING THE CONSTITUTION SEC. 2.

Ken Starr attacks people you know.

Please don't force divorce on Julie Houser's family.
Please don't force divorce on David Smith-Evan's family.



Have you heard that Ken Starr -- and the Prop 8 Legal Defense Fund -- filed legal briefs defending the constitutionality of Prop 8 and attempting to forcibly divorce 18,000 same-sex couples that were married in California last year? The Supreme Court will hear oral arguments in this case on March 5, 2009, with a decision expected within the next 90 days.

The Courage Campaign has created a video called "Fidelity," with the permission of musician Regina Spektor, that puts a face to those 18,000 couples and all loving, committed couples seeking full equality under the law.

Please watch this heartbreaking video now. If you have the same reaction that I did, you can help spread the word by sharing it with your friends ASAP -- before the Valentine's Day deadline:

http://www.couragecampaign.org/Divorce

The more people who see this video, the more people will understand the pain caused by Prop 8 and Ken Starr's shameful legal proceeding.

After you watch the video, please join me and over 60,000 people who have signed a letter to the state Supreme Court, asking them to invalidate Prop 8 and reject Starr's case.

Thanks.

SPRING CLEANING

I've seen Jack begin to embrace this idea and it seems to give great peace and satisfaction.
I have always committed to parking my car in the garage (when I've had a garage) it keeps your car clean and automatically controls what you keep.
What do you think?

Clearing a Space for Change
The Weight of Objects

In life, we tend to have an easier time acquiring possessions than we do getting rid of them. Just as we harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of, our lives can tend to be filled with material objects that we may feel compelled to hold on to. Most people are not conscious of how much they own and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life. They fiercely hold on to material objects because this makes them feel secure or comfortable. While it’s true that the ownership of “stuff” can make you feel good for awhile, it seldom satisfies the deep inner longings that nearly everyone has for fulfillment and satisfaction. It is only when we are ready to let go of our baggage and be vulnerable that it becomes possible to recognize the emotional hold that our possessions can have on us.

It’s not uncommon to hold on to material objects because we are attached to them or fear the empty spaces that will remain if we get rid of them. Giving away the souvenirs from a beloved voyage may feel like we are erasing the memory of that time in our life. We may also worry that our loved ones will feel hurt if we don’t keep the gifts they’ve given us. It’s easy to convince ourselves that unused possessions might come in handy someday or that parting with them will cause you emotional pain. However, when your personal space is filled with objects, there is no room for anything new to enter and stay in your life. Your collection of belongings may “protect” you from the uncertainties of an unknown future while keeping you stuck in the past. Holding on to unnecessary possessions often goes hand in hand with holding on to pain, anger, and resentment, and letting go of your material possessions may help you release emotional baggage.

When you make a conscious decision to fill your personal space with only the objects that you need or bring you joy, your energy level will soar. Clearing your personal space can lead to mental clarity and an improved memory. As you learn to have a more practical and temporary relationship to objects, positive changes will happen, and you’ll have space to create the life that you desire.

Color Barrier

Now that we've cracked the race barrier can we break the real color barrier and have a President bold enough to wear a neck tie that is neither blue nor red?

Merry Christmas

Quote of the Day

"Marriage is a Civil Contract"
Brigham Young - Journal of Discourses, Vol 11, pp. 266 ff.

What do you day dream about?

Pick of the Week

So here is my favorite free thing everyone should be doing. Go into Starbucks every week and pick of the free song of the week itunes download.
It is usually something in the worldbeat arena that you've never heard of, but it is A) free and 2) fun when it surprises you when you're in shuffle mode. I love it.

RED (velvet) WHITE and BLUE

I played booce ball in Balboa Park and watched fireworks from a Banker's Hill 10th floor rooftop. What did you do?

I miss you all so much...on the 4th more than any other holiday.

Yipee

Well,
It has been a roller coaster of a week. I went from finding out at 4pm on Monday that I was getting laid-off...to by 4pm on Friday having restructured my position and staying on the job with a company and in an industry I really love.
Thank you all for your encouragement, good energy and prayers.

love,
Jennifer

Do you remember this Seinfeld episode?

George, drinking tea in his apartment with his girlfriend: "I-I've given this a lot of thought. I'm sorry, but we, uh, we have to break up."
Maura: "No."
George, after hesitating: "What's that?"
Maura: "We're not breaking up."
George, after hesitating: "We're not?"
Maura: "No."
George, after hesitating even longer: "All right."

I'm using this approach to try to keep my job - wish me luck. I should know something on Friday.

Can you still find these?

Back awhile ago, Liz was talking about the famous pink mints that Jack and Doris always had handy when we were growing up - she was telling me that they have disappeared! I was sure she was nuts...I don't buy them often but there has never been a time I couldn't find them in any candy aisle. Much to my dismay Liz is right! Since she brought it up I've been looking and they are nowhere to be found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Arrrgh

I just re-worked my budget because I'm going in the hole every month. I had to bump-up my gas line item to $600 per month. That's just to get to work and run errands - nothing extra.

The gay thing

Hey all,
I was talking to mom the other day and the conversation made me think of this documentary I saw last year that was just excellent and I want to share it with the family. It is a struggle for me sometimes to live where laws and culture combine to treat me as less that a full citizen in this society. It can bear negatively on my self image, my personal safety and can just get plain tiring to fight for common civil rights that should be available to all. So, I want to express how gratified and blessed I am to have always been treated just perfect by each of you (and all your spouses). I have never had a single moment with any of my siblings where I was ever left feeling anything weird and I just wanted to tell how that I appreciate you all so much.

Anyway, why I want to share this film is because although you all treat me great I think that this really gives a voice to why you do. It gives a vocabulary and context that maybe as your kids get older, or you are in a position to counsel others - might serve to help to explain the important step beyond the "love the sinner hate the sin" mentality that is just not really good enough. Thank you all for always seeing me as more than that.
love,
Jenny
I'll be sending out DVD's in the next few weeks.

"Anyone and Everyone" tells the stories of families from Utah to North Carolina and Wyoming to New York, all connected by a common thread — a gay child. This poignant and often heartbreaking documentary by first-time filmmaker Susan Polis Schutz (also the parent of a gay son) reveals a family’s struggle and desire to accept a child’s sexual orientation.
The film features parents from a wide range of religions, ethnicities, and political leanings, all of whom discuss their initial reactions to their child's coming out. While some showed unconditional support, others struggled with their child’s sexual orientation, fearing alienation from their extended family, their church, or their community. Some simply did not understand the universal nature of homosexuality, and that it can affect anyone and everyone.
Whether Japanese, Cherokee, Mormon, Catholic, or Hindu, these families all share a deep love for their children, along with a struggle for acceptance, both in their own home and within society as a whole.

My Work

Here's some picture that are the end result of what I do every day. This our latest completed project in Woodland Hills.

I flat ironed my hair

Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Runaway Egg

So this morning I'm heading off to work and on my way out the door I grab a hard-boiled egg and stuck it in the pocket of my jacket. I picked up my keys, bag and walked out the door. The pocket is open at the top but I've never had an issue of anything falling out.
Halfway to work I noticed that the egg is gone. It is not rolling around on the car floor and once I got the the office I searched the car --- no egg!

Spring

I did a little planter box for my front porch.

Challenge

I think that I will spread a virus
We won’t be sure what fell upon us
We’ll write in rhyme both day and night
Until ours heads aren’t screwed on tight

Through the family this could spread
Up hill, down dale where will it end
There’ll be no winner, no points to tally
Just prove you can you rhyme like Grandma Sally

Ruminate

I woke today without rest
I start the day a bit pre-stressed

I must, I can’t, I could, I should
I ponder, reflect - this can’t be good.

I brood, I fret, I second-guess
Chew-on, mull over - I’m such a mess

And then I slow the rumination
I shift into deliberation

Absorb, digest, assimilate
Whatever life brings will be just great

Then I breathe both long and deep
Tonight perhaps I’ll get some sleep.

pumpkin fun

5 people you'd have to dinner.

Bill Clinton
Annie Leibovitz
Queen Latifah
Jane Austen
Dorothy Parker

Please share yours.

My Fall Pick for favorite musical artist

http://www.brandicarlile.com/

From Amazon.com
Brandi Carlile has a rare voice, consistently spilling over with honesty, purity, and passion. Her dynamic and tonal range is truly exceptional and on par with the likes of k.d. lang, Bonnie Raitt, and Patsy Cline--at times soft, swooping, and clear as a bell ("Turpentine," "Josephine," "Cannonball"), and then ferocious to the point of breaking ("The Story," "My Song"). A voice like Carlile's when paired with the right material is a winning combination, and The Story's country-meets-Radiohead ballads and rockers do not disappoint. While the songs on are not as consistently stellar as those on her self-titled debut album, they are more often than not solid, and show off her talents and confidence as both an artist and performer, which have fully bloomed since her debut. This, coupled with T Bone Burnett's light, live production style, creates an album that is ultimately more rewarding than her first. The high points on The Story have raised the bar considerably for Carlile, and they are frequent. Her choice to record the album in a live setting inside the studio lends it a raw intimacy and authenticity noticeably absent from most studio recordings, and leaves us with not only an album, but a work of art. Carlile is a career artist still defining her sound, but her maturity as a vocalist cannot be questioned--this is an immensely talented singer laying herself bare before us, and one of the strongest releases of 2007. --Alan Wiley